Can Generation X & Y Get Along?
It is no secret that in most work places Baby Boomers and Generation X do not get along very well with Gen Y colleagues. How about online- do they get along very well?
It appears that Gen X and Baby Boomers do not intrinsically trust Generation Y. Much of the bad blood can be attributed to tastes and preferences. It can also be attributed to upbringing. Gen Y are mostly brought up in the Internet era. Baby Boomers on the other hand, were brought up in the post WWII era. Gen X were largely brought up during the Electronic Transition age when the Cold War was the issue of the day.
As a result of the different socio-cultural dynamics at work, it appears that the tastes and preferences of the various generations continue to be a baggage to each all. It affects the way they see life and make decisions. According the Alpha Marketer, www.thealphamarketer.com a leading online marketing outfit, it appears that the early adopters (Gen Y especially those about 17-25) are increasingly moving to Face Book as a online marketplace for them. It thus appears that these early are shunning the MySpace to the late adopters ie Gen X ie those about 35 and above. These late adopters are barely catching up with MySpace and YouTube.
Myself, I am Gen X guy. I can not pretend that I know everything about Gen Y guys even though I spend a great deal of time reading and interacting with them.
There is lesson here for us. It is a lesson that may apply for you as well me, regardless of whether you are a Gen X or a Baby Boomer. The lesson is t that if we want to relate better to the Gen Y, we must make a greater effort to understand their taste and preferences. If we fail to do this, then we can not claim to have wisdom to deal with the issues of the day in dealing successfully with Gen Y.
If you like to invest in people as I do, if you like to speculate about the future as I do, I dare to say that we can’t afford to ignore the taste and preferences of Gen Y. They are by far the largest and most influential generation since Baby Boomers. They are a ‘stock’. They have both style a little substance that we can tap into to change the world. This stock will be around for quite a while and I urge you to get to know more about that stock. It is a stock with a silver-lining for parents, teachers, educators, politicians and the world. The better we know them, the better we can deal with them.
Gideon
Parent Program Coordinator
WTW
We‘ve Got Work to Do with Gen Y in Nevada
Many young people in Nevada are bleeding in silence from depression and drugs. Others are self-destroying by engaging in early teenage sex, dropping out of high school, being suicidal and violent. They need some help from out community. It appears our community is turning a blind eye or not doing enough to ameliorate these issues affecting young people across Nevada.
According to Guttmacher Institute, in 2006, Nevada had the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the nation. It also holds the lead nationwide with the worst high school drop out rate according to Annie E. Casey Foundation. Nevada also has the infamous title of having one of the highest suicide rates in the country based on the state of Nevada Department of Human and Resources, Health Division 1996-1998.
Based on these statistics, you get a sense that if this situation is not promptly averted, it might lead to severe epidemic with devastating socio-economic issues across the state. There is an increasing need for a new kind of engagement with the young people. If you are a parent, Nevada needs you to step forward and help in some way to help our youths. Begin with those in your family, your neighborhood. Be a positive influence in the lives of those young people you know. It needs some sacrifice but it can be done.
We can not give up on our young people, after all the last generation did not give up on us. Like my colleague Joey Francis says, lets Think, Act and Do it. The time is now.
Gideon For-mukwai
Certified Resiliency Facilitator
[Others lifted me out of the trenches, now I must lift others out of the ditches.]
How to Connect Before you Communicate with your Teens
Are you one of the many parents who do not like talking about sensitive topics like sex with your kids? Most kids are yearning to hear from their parents on such topics. This write up hopes to make your job easier in this regard.
In order to communicate effectively on sensitive topics such as sex, alcohol and drugs, parents, mentors and educators must explore different ways of connecting before communicating with Generation Y, ie children born from 1981 upwards, otherwise known as Millenials or Mosaic Generation. Studies have shown that Generation Y children perceive life very differently from Baby Boomers or Generation X. Thus, to communicate effectively with Gen Y, you must first attempt to find common ground to build trust or bridges before you can communicate effectively with them. The 7 approaches of building bridges outlined here will enable you to break the ice to connect with them, before you can share information on sensitive topics.
Bridge # 1 Build Trust
Research has shown that although Gen Y kids are very tolerant to different views, they tend to trust information from their parents more than anybody else, including teachers. This is an amazing opportunity for parents and mentors to explore and help their kids make sound decisions about issues like relationships, drugs and alcohol.
One of the ways parents can build this bridge of trust is by asking open-ended questions. For example, you can ask your son, ‘Why do you like hanging out with Kenny?’ Beyond that question, try to listen carefully to understand their fears and motivations, without interrupting them. That shows to them that you respect of their opinions.
Bridge #2 Reach Out
You can also connect with your teenagers of Mosaic Generation by getting them to be involved with you in hands-on activities like cooking, painting or moving stuff around the garage. By doing it together with them, you are giving them the message that ‘we are pals and we are getting along very well.’ During the course of that activity, you can segue an idea on a sensitive topic like sex. At that point, they are more likely to listen because their walls of defense are down.
Bridge #3 Interact Online
Most parents do not cherish seeing their kids on the Internet for long hours. Not withstanding this, the Internet has both positives and negatives and it a great tool for parents to use to teach and communicate on a host of issues. An average Generation Y kid spends over 3 hours per day facing screens like computer screens, MTV, or using online networks like Myspace or Facebook. That is probably why some people call them ‘screenagers’. If a parent gets to learn the workings of such social networks like Myspace, it will be relatively easier to connect with them and communicate important values on difficult topics such as online pornography or online child predators.
Bridge #4 Dive with Them
If your teenager or child likes swimming as a recreational activity, that is a good avenue to connect with them by going for diving or swimming together. During the course of diving or swimming together, you can slip in a new idea like the importance of dressing appropriately in public places. Because you are both having fun, it will not be misconstrued as a sort of criticism.
Bridge #5 Go Games Together
Most young people and teenagers have a favorite game or team that they love to talk about. If you invest time in knowing about their favorite teams, players or games, you can easily connect and communicate with them through a conversation on that topic. By doing so, they believe that you care about their interests. This one area where we need to give credit to ‘soccer moms’ for often hanging out and running errands for their children during games.
Bridge #6 Excite Them
Teenagers do not like people who are boring. If you are boring, you will not hold their attention for too long. That is why Disneyland has been so successful for years. Young people and particularly Gen. Y kids love magic. They are fascinated by pace, mystery, colors and heroes. They love adrenaline-filled activities. You can tap into such adrenaline activities to communicate on sensitive subjects because such activities connect you emotionally with them. You can work magic with them through activities like dancing, drumming, singing and so on. In the course of the dancing, you can ask what do you think of Britney Spears? Based on their answer, you can provide some sound words of wisdom as a parent.
Bridge #7 Storytelling
Storytelling is a very powerful tool for connecting and communicating on tough issues with your teenagers or ‘screenagers’. You can use personal anecdotes or biblical stories. Personal stories tend to be very powerful and engaging because they want to know how my mom or dad coped with bullies at school. You are their natural heroes.
You can tell a story about you and your spouse and the lessons you have learned together overcoming alcohol and how you do not wish your children to suffer as you did. It is OK to let them know that you have not been perfect. When children know how far you have come on your journey, they will respect you even more.
Gideon F. For-mukwai, CEM, CRF
Staying Abstinent by Finding Support
At a very young age I began to use the computer; I was probably only about ten years old, if not younger. Soon after that I found myself drawn towards learning how the internet worked. A few years later when I was in high school I had a friend who introduced me into some simple web coding; he taught me how to make websites, and he supported me by leading me since he had more experience then I did. Eventually my friend moved away, and I stopped doing so much on the internet. I found myself doing other activities, activities which my other friends were doing. The reason I am telling you all this is because I hope it helps you understand what I am about to tell you.
The choice to stay abstinent is not an easy one. If you have made that choice, I am guessing that you have second guessed your choice at times, and if you have not, then you have probably at least found yourself feeling as if you have little or no support from others, which at times could be discouraging. So on that note, I want to tell you that if you want to stay strong in your commitment and lifestyle of being sexual abstinent, then I would really recommend finding someone who will support your decision.
This can be a group or a person; it really doesn’t matter. For many people one of the best places to go and find this support would be in their youth group or singles group at their church. But not everybody who chooses to stay abstinent goes to church. For these people you could consider your parents, or even your good friends. I would assume that people who have the courage to make a bold decision like staying abstinent, would most likely have friends of a similar mindset. So talk to your friends about it, and let them encourage you to stay faithful to your commitment.
Feel, Think, Act
One of the neatest concepts that we teach here at Worth the Wait is about how we handle our feelings.
First you feel…
You can meet a pretty girl and you feel tons of different things, or maybe someone cuts you off while you are driving… You are going to feel certain emotions and want to do certain things.
Then you think…
Those feelings and emotions that you just felt now should be thought about. Would it really be the best idea for you to do all the things you thought of when you first met that girl? Or would it really be appropriate to do what you were thinking about when the other car cut you off?
And finally… Act!
Then you act. After you have slowed down a bit and thought reasonably about what to do, then you act. Maybe your initial reactions made you want to do things that you normally wouldn’t, so after you thought about it you realized that that you didn’t need to react the way you wanted to at first.
I really enjoy this concept, bcause it teaches us that we have the ability to make good decisions no matter what the circumstance is. All we have to do is take the time to think about it, and then you will make the right choice!
Supporting Abstinence
Just in case you haven’t noticed, but abstinence isn’t supported by too many people. I think that a lot of people who do believe and practice abstinence have a tendency of hiding it. So I have a challenge for you. Let’s be bold about being abstinent. When people begin talking about sex, talk about how you are choosing to stay abstinent until marriage.
With the masses of people against it, it is no wonder abstinence only education has yet to be accepted. If we choose to be bold and let people know it works, then just imagine the effect it could have!
I will Abstain Till Marriage
I will Abstain till Marriage
That is the question
Whether tis nobler in my mind to stay sane
Or to go wild and be victim of that temptation
To abstain or not to abstain
That is the question not to refrain
Whether tis cool to wait for the prince of my life
Or to step out there and be part of the strife
To abstain or not to abstain
That is the dilemma of our time
Whether to plunge or to exercise some restraint
And by so doing wait till the wedding bells chime
To abstain or not to abstain
That is no longer a tough situation
Because many sick, some hurt and lots in jail
For not heeding the advice for my own gain
To abstain or not to abstain
That is on me on one big chain
If am abstinent I will forever be clean and plane
But if fail to be, I shall forever be in strain
[Copyright] Gideon F. For-mukwai
Raising Children in Africa: It Takes a Village
Dear Friends,
I give credit to Senator Hillary Clinton for making one African saying very famous. – ‘It Takes a Village’ is a saying that reflects my life growing up in Africa. It still remains a fact for most parts of Africa that it takes a village to raise a child.
I know you may be saying, “Heck! How is that possible?” I can tell you as product of that kind of system, that it truly takes a village to raise a child. Even though I was largely a ‘rotten apple’ in a garden with healthier crops, my village did not throw me out. Thanks to the efforts of the entire community, I can look back today and say that I owe it to them and to reach out to others to be a positive influence in their lives. I have never failed to give credit to the person who was at the center of my life, my mother, then a widow. She was the anchor, but you guess what, as itis the case for every news cast, it takes many hands: the anchor, the camera man, the producer, the script writer, the editors and you name it. Mom was a poor widow, but countless times other village folks like my God mother chipped in to give me a gentle push up the ladder of life. So many other unnamed people in my village were part and parcel of raising me either directly or indirectly.
In my village, every mother is your mother, every father, is your father. It does not matter who you are when you are caught doing something stupid, they will correct you. We used to say every adult is a COP ie (citizen on patrol) on behalf of your parents. That was the norm. That was the law of the land.
As a result of that fairly tight system of interrelationships, the social and moral fabric of our village was sustained by physical and the non-physical presence of everyone is a secret eye COP. It was a fine system of checks and balances. I recall my aunts, uncles, faraway relations, teachers, village counselors were very much a part of a daily effort at making our village safer and better for all. There were rarely any cases in which parents turned a blind eye to an issue or problem that endangered the lives of the children of other parents or the community because the kids were not theirs.
When I contrast the system approach to raising children and families to the very individual approach I have observed in a number of advanced countries including some times I am at a loss for words. Do not get me wrong. I am not under the illusion that what any system is perfect, but often I wish that family unit is found wanting in its role especially when I see the shortcoming of single parenting. Perhaps, I might have had a very bad time grow up, but thanks to the systems approach, I did not feel the vacuum of a living with a deceased father.
Sometimes, I can only wish that both systems ie the very individualistic and the community could get to learn from one another. How I wish both systems can consciously share on their strengths and weaknesses.
If I could offer just one suggestion, it has to be that, more family members should reach out more. By doing so, it takes the burden off the shoulders of those who are already bleeding in silence from raising children, often the single parents.
It will be tough, but I believe that if we can have the government, families and other public units of society advocating for deeper and more profound family-centered system approach to raising children, am sure we can see more children that are happier, healthier and able to love one another instead of tearing down their friends.
If we can promote this concept, we can reduce violence, drugs, gangs, promiscuity and several other issues that are tearing apart our communities. The schools, churches, councils and families and so on need to work closely in identifying ways of helping young people reach their best potential. Worth the Wait is waiting to set up a new program called 40 Developmental Assets and it aims at promoting “Asset Rich Communities” that more or less advocate for -“It takes a village to raise a child”. If we could send man to the moon, am sure we can reengage our communities making the power of collective social responsibility.
Lets make it a better world for all!
Gideon F. For-mukwai
Prodigal Poet
Date When?
I have a question for all of you. Why do you date? Whether you are 13, 16, 18, or 21; I feel that you should have a good reason to want to date. And do you know what it is? You should be looking to get married. I can only imagine the looks on your faces, and the extreme laughter that sentence may have just caused. But really, on a serious note. I have have some good reasons.
If you decide to date and you don’t have that goal of marriage in the end, then you are going to feel as if the only way to get closer to the person you are with is through physical intimacy. You will get to a point where you feel like you want to be as close to that person as possible, and the only thing that you will find to give you that satisfaction may be physical. This is a very, very, very big problem. With physical intimacy comes a lot of confusion, and the possibility of STD’s and unwanted pregnancy.
I have a couple recommendations…
- Don’t date if you don’t plan on getting married.
- Don’t date if you are not in a position where you can get married.
Some of you are probably once again laughing, but just consider this. If you choose to avoid dating until you know you are ready for marriage, then you are going to avoid a lot of heartbreak and confusion. If you date and you are not ready for marriage it is like catching a fish and not wanting to eat it.
I hope that you take this and listen to it. If you are serious about having healthy relationships then you should really consider this advice. Good luck!
