Raising Children in Africa: It Takes a Village
Dear Friends,
I give credit to Senator Hillary Clinton for making one African saying very famous. – ‘It Takes a Village’ is a saying that reflects my life growing up in Africa. It still remains a fact for most parts of Africa that it takes a village to raise a child.
I know you may be saying, “Heck! How is that possible?” I can tell you as product of that kind of system, that it truly takes a village to raise a child. Even though I was largely a ‘rotten apple’ in a garden with healthier crops, my village did not throw me out. Thanks to the efforts of the entire community, I can look back today and say that I owe it to them and to reach out to others to be a positive influence in their lives. I have never failed to give credit to the person who was at the center of my life, my mother, then a widow. She was the anchor, but you guess what, as itis the case for every news cast, it takes many hands: the anchor, the camera man, the producer, the script writer, the editors and you name it. Mom was a poor widow, but countless times other village folks like my God mother chipped in to give me a gentle push up the ladder of life. So many other unnamed people in my village were part and parcel of raising me either directly or indirectly.
In my village, every mother is your mother, every father, is your father. It does not matter who you are when you are caught doing something stupid, they will correct you. We used to say every adult is a COP ie (citizen on patrol) on behalf of your parents. That was the norm. That was the law of the land.
As a result of that fairly tight system of interrelationships, the social and moral fabric of our village was sustained by physical and the non-physical presence of everyone is a secret eye COP. It was a fine system of checks and balances. I recall my aunts, uncles, faraway relations, teachers, village counselors were very much a part of a daily effort at making our village safer and better for all. There were rarely any cases in which parents turned a blind eye to an issue or problem that endangered the lives of the children of other parents or the community because the kids were not theirs.
When I contrast the system approach to raising children and families to the very individual approach I have observed in a number of advanced countries including some times I am at a loss for words. Do not get me wrong. I am not under the illusion that what any system is perfect, but often I wish that family unit is found wanting in its role especially when I see the shortcoming of single parenting. Perhaps, I might have had a very bad time grow up, but thanks to the systems approach, I did not feel the vacuum of a living with a deceased father.
Sometimes, I can only wish that both systems ie the very individualistic and the community could get to learn from one another. How I wish both systems can consciously share on their strengths and weaknesses.
If I could offer just one suggestion, it has to be that, more family members should reach out more. By doing so, it takes the burden off the shoulders of those who are already bleeding in silence from raising children, often the single parents.
It will be tough, but I believe that if we can have the government, families and other public units of society advocating for deeper and more profound family-centered system approach to raising children, am sure we can see more children that are happier, healthier and able to love one another instead of tearing down their friends.
If we can promote this concept, we can reduce violence, drugs, gangs, promiscuity and several other issues that are tearing apart our communities. The schools, churches, councils and families and so on need to work closely in identifying ways of helping young people reach their best potential. Worth the Wait is waiting to set up a new program called 40 Developmental Assets and it aims at promoting “Asset Rich Communities” that more or less advocate for -“It takes a village to raise a child”. If we could send man to the moon, am sure we can reengage our communities making the power of collective social responsibility.
Lets make it a better world for all!
Gideon F. For-mukwai
Prodigal Poet
August 16th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Oh, Thanks! Really amazing. Big ups!
August 17th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Oh, Thanks! Really funny. Greets.